What was the incident that told me, as a young child, that I was not good enough? I certainly don’t know. All I do know is that from a very young age I didn’t feel like I belonged with the other children, that I was somehow not like them. That I needed fixing. Another thing that [...]

Three days after I wrote the last post, so full of plans and hopes for the future, I was in hospital with an acute attack of pancreatitis. I am told that’s one of the most intense kinds of pain known to man. The doctors don’t know why I had the attack. And they are scratching [...]

Something big is happening. I can feel it. Something fundamental has changed this year. It’s like a chrysalis of my life is cracking and a butterfly is about to come out. That’s how big it feels. I have learned so much in the last six months or so. First there was the realisation that I had [...]

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” Chinese proverb So often, I feel a painful tension in my shoulders, a hardness in my jaw, and a clenching in my stomach. Until recently, I would have said that I don’t know where all this tension comes from. I have so much to [...]

I have been too busy. To my own horror, I realised that this is the sixth weekend in a row that I’m not spending at home. Somewhere, between training courses, visits to my mother and spending time with my tribe, my routine got lost. And I very much need my routine. Without it, I start [...]